


Lucerna

by talltrees5



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Autumn, Cake, Candles, Dancing, Developing Relationship, Disney, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Please Forgive me, Spring, Summer, Winter, dan doesnt deserve the ending, i dont know how to do happy endings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-30
Updated: 2016-08-30
Packaged: 2018-08-12 02:25:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7916791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talltrees5/pseuds/talltrees5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A drabble about love, change, growth, life, loss but mainly Phil's scented candles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lucerna

**Author's Note:**

> This is my plp fic and I've had such a great time writing it! Thank you so much to my beta @marianathehypertiredgirl for making my mess of a fic into a coherent piece of writing and my doodler @in-poisoned-places for creating not just one but four beautiful pieces of art. This the first time I've had a beta or an artist for my fics so I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed making it. (art: http://portlandhowell.tumblr.com/post/149720870221/my-art-for-talltrees5s-incredible-plp-fic)

SPRING

May was the first time they kissed.

Phil said, “Hand me the remote,” and Dan kissed him instead.

They had been watching Secrets of Wild India by David Attenborough because they were cool like that and for once they were both actually paying attention instead of answering emails and scrolling through tumblr. A true novelty. Phil had lit some candles for ambience so the whole room smelt of orange blossom and even though they were as far from subtle as it is possible to be, they achieved a certain feeling of delicate freshness. Dan had no idea why he kissed Phil when he should have been concentrating on Bengal tigers but later he blamed it on the candles.

In the end it was difficult to tell who was more surprised because both of them were bright red afterwards. In fact Dan was beginning to wonder if he had made a mistake when Phil chose to imitate a tomato instead of saying something. Mumbling an apology, he decided to go and make some tea. Tea would fix everything. Until of course Phil let out a hiccuping giggle, pulled him back onto the sofa and kissed him silly. No tea was required.

After that, spring always smelt overpoweringly of orange blossom and he developed a soft spot for Bengal tigers.

 

*

 

SUMMER

To use a cliche, Phil was the literal fucking sun to Dan. At this point it wouldn’t be surprising if he were to find him allowing his plants to photosynthesise using his pure unfiltered radiance. He was kind and hilarious and just the ultimate dork. Most of all though, Phil was his best friend. So why has he not said he loves him yet?

They are choosing cereal at the supermarket (he says nothing). They’re bowling with Louise and Phil gets a strike (he says nothing). Phil grabs his hand when they’re watching The Conjuring (he still says nothing). It’s infuriating. That night they’re watching Sleeping Beauty and eating huge bowls of strawberry ice cream to recover. Phil has surrounded them with strawberry candles too because they’re calming. As Aurora finally opens her eyes he snuggles into Dan’s side and says it. He just says it. I love you.

He’s soft and unapologetic and Dan can finally breath because now he knows that Phil loves him too. That night Dan can’t stop telling Phil over and over all the ways he loves him and kissing the strawberries out of his mouth.

And that’s why, after that night, Phil only ever burns strawberry candles in summer.

 

*

 

AUTUMN

“It’s apple cake.” Phil said.

It was definitely not apple cake.

It was cinnamon and sugar and gooey goodness. It was crisp and moist and brown. It was definitely at least some type of cake. All in all it was many things, most of them good, but maybe it wasn’t quite what it was meant to be. They didn’t care.

They ate it in front of the Sound of Music because sometimes you just need to sing badly, it may not have tasted of apples but it was fucking delicious. Afterwards they had more cake and played some Mario Kart where Dan let Phil win and it felt good to be in that moment.In the end Phil decided that the cake tasted of spice in general so he lit a pumpkin pie candle, turned on some Fall Out Boy and started to dance. He was wild and vaguely awkward but it didn’t matter. Dan just sat back and watched feeling too happy to be true until he was dragged up by a slightly hyper Phil. They danced and danced because they could. That felt good too. Phil said he never wanted to stop. The candle hadn’t burnt out yet. 

It felt good to dance and eat cake and generally to be alive but in that moment Dan decided it felt better to do it with someone else. And it felt best to do it with Phil.  
So the next day he proposed.

 

*

 

WINTER

Phil chose the candles at their wedding. They decorated every table and filled the room with the complementary scents of jasmine and magnolia. Everyone said that it made the day, to have something so them filling the room.

It was a beautiful day and afterwards they sat in their apartment together and just talked. Phil had brought all the hundreds of candles back so every flat surface was scattered with them and all the rooms were filled with the scent of a new life. It’s the night after the day that Dan remembers most clearly all these years later. The sound of snow falling outside although it wasn’t meant to be cold enough for yet. The way Phil’s eyes lit up as he talked and the shadows of his eyelashes on his cheeks. How they fell asleep too soon so see the candles burn out. 

 

And now, so many years later, Dan is tired and his hair is falling out and his neck always aches on cold days but he doesn’t want to look at the snow outside. Instead he looks at the coffin surrounded by jasmine and magnolia candles and he cries.

He doesn’t cry because Phil was so alive, or because now he is so dead, or even because he is still here and it doesn’t seem fair.

He cries because Phil is gone and there is nothing else worth doing.


End file.
